Usually when we give away kindness, we get it back. The reason why we for example smile to other people is because it feels good and it even makes others happy. But it should only be done without any expectations. If someone doesn’t smile back to us we shouldn’t be disappointed. In this beautiful world unfortunately we don’t only have people with good hearts. I’m not saying that someone who doesn’t treat us with respect is a bad person. There are among us lots of people that don’t even realize they sometimes hurt us just because they talk or act without using their mind. Some of them are good people, they just haven’t had the opportunity to learn to take others opinion into consideration. Others are not being honest and they abuse our trust, but for us it’s to remain honest and knowing that we did well. That empowers us to stay the good persons we are. Knowing that makes us strong and gives us back that smile on our faces that we tend to lose sometimes.
Of course it’s impossible to say that one will never ever be disappointed if one starts expecting less. There are moments that we’ll be disappointed anyway. Unfortunately those moments do exist.
Jenney is a friend of mine who lost her best friend many years ago. After she passed away, during the first years, she didn`t know how to deal with the fact that she won’t be here for her anymore. She really expected her to get better and she herself was also convinced it would happen. But suddenly she was gone! It took a long time before she understood that she shouldn’t have blamed God. She was so convinced and she prayed and begged but also expected that He would make sure she would get better. She didn’t, so she felt this deep disappointment.
It would have been wiser if she would have been more realistic and prepared herself for the possibility of the big disappointment she could encounter.
But on the other hand, a few years ago she almost lost her Mom and all she did was hoping and asking God for help. No expectations at all, just gratefulness for the moments spent together with her, and what was the result? She got better. One can get happiness also without having any expectations, but by being positive, very positive! Positivism, insistence and patience bring happiness in our lives.
As long as we live we have to enjoy our lives and we shouldn’t focus on bad things and people that let us down or disappoints us. Within the years she learned a lot, she felt many times, stood up again and started expecting less from people. After her best friend passed away she was giving a lot of trust to some of her other friends and doing everything they wished her to do even if she didn’t really like it. Seeing others satisfied made her also happy, at least, that’s what she thought at that time.
She wasn’t complaining about anything, in fact, she was accepting everything! If she would give an idea and it would be ignored, she wouldn’t start a discussion because she wouldn’t want to ruin the good ambiance and as she learned to be thankful with what she has, she was able to accept fast. She was living up to their expectations.
But, meanwhile in her heart she wished sometimes that the day would come for them to give her an act of kindness back. Then, one day she realized she was wishing for something that can’t be and that she could never be really happy if she kept thinking and hoping for people to treat her the same way as she was treating them. Probably she was expecting her closest friends unconsciously to be like her best friend, which was impossible! At that point she opened her eyes. She was lucky to have known this special person that looked like her, thought the same way she did and loved things she loved. But not everybody is the same. So, from that moment on she stopped expecting unrealistic things to happen and she started seeing the differences in people and learned that everybody is different. Choosing for herself was the biggest and the toughest change. No expectations but only honesty and facing that suddenly the same people couldn’t bear that she was being the real her. So she lost many people around her, but real ones stayed. One is fairer than another, one kinder than another, some living in their own world without “giving something back when they always get from others” in a natural way but she choose to see the good in them and not to expect too much and that made her life easier and nicer.
Once in awhile when you forget not to expect too much and when this thing in life called disappointment reaches you and you get off track, react on time and see it as another lesson learned. A little scar might be left behind, but consider that scar as a proof of what you’ve learned.
The area where she encounters disappointments frequently is respect. She’ll never understand why it’s difficult for some people to naturally respect their fellows, but she has accepted that it’s part of life. Since she started expecting less, she noticed she gets more positive surprises coming my way. Precisely at moments you don’t expect anything, joy and success comes easily. They won’t only make you happy but also stronger and they’ll make you understand things better and see the value of things and people in life.